tar ed and vanis in torks fles wurned.

    ernoon, during a lig go into ter; from tal  immediately to ,  the horse.

    Eric a s first glance, and   out to greet ely different: a false Goldmund, many years older, , dusty, gray face, sunken c a smile rated, old, patient smile. o be ill and very tired.

    trangely at ant.  urn. ed as t even for a minute. ing, no question, no story. ;I must sleep,quot; o be terribly tired.  Eric into  to t it drop, took off o tanding under a clot did not go up to o take off t ead  to ttle side, and called doo ;Eric tell anybody t Im back. Im very tired. It can  until tomorro;

    ter a o look into a small mirror t tentively  tared back at  of tired and old and ed,   man le mirrors dull surface—but strangely unfamiliar. It did not seem to be properly present; it did not seem to be of muco  reminded tle of Master Niklaus, a little of t  made for tle of St. Jacob in t. Jacob  still joyous and good.

    Carefully erested in finding out about tranger. o  o t remely tired old man, ake muc  ill liked  tty Goldmund  igue and disintegration trace of contentment, or at least of detac. ly to  rip! Pretty mucorn and burned out, urning from tle excursion.  only sacrificed coo, ten lost or deserted  o iable, but ent, it o get along   back to bed and time fell asleep.

    t day  able in ried to dratle. Narcissus came to visit ood in t;Ive been told t you  come to see me, Ive come to you. Am I disturbing you in your ;

    of o t. Goldmund gave him a friendly smile.

    quot;Yes, Im back. elcome, Narcissus, o you.quot;

    Narcissus looked into oo sa only tion, tiful ing of trangely pleasing signs of acceptance, of detac even, of surrender and old mans good  t Goldmund  altoget eity and anding at tes t lead to the beyond.

    quot;Are you ill?quot; iously.

    quot;Yes. I am also ill. I fell ill at tart of my journey, during t days. But youll understand t I didnt  to come  araveling boots. No, I didnt feel like it. I  on to roam about a bit; I felt as . I oo muc asand t, youre an intelligent man. Forgive me,  s like a curse; I keep forgetting alking about. But t t   a lot, but …quot;

    his murmuring ended in a smile.

    quot;ell make you ake care of you. If only you urned rig o feel as of us. You s back.quot;

    Goldmund laughed.

    quot;Yes, no dare come back. It would  now I ;

    quot; pain?quot;

    quot;Pain? Yes, I  you see, pains are not so bad; t me to reason. No of you. to see me in prison, to save my life, I o clenceet as of you. But t is completely over no;

    Narcissus put ely Goldmund stopped speaking and closed urbed, t ran to fetcon, to look after till sitting fast asleep at able. t o bed and tayed to examine him.

    o one of t a constant ch.

    tory of  journey ails; oten lessly. Sometimes imes  for eacime. t conversations remely important to him.

    Narcissus set dos of Goldmunds reports and confessions. Otold by Erich.

    quot;art? At t and fell o a brook, er. I must . At t time I  very far from  I didnt  to turn back. t  it oo mucal for a long time.

    quot;Ill stay ayed a t: before I go under, I  to dra more, and make a fe to er all.quot;

    Narcissus said to ;Im very glad youve come back. I missed you very muc of you every day, and I en afraid t you  to come back.quot;

    Goldmund s;ell, t .quot;

    Narcissus,  burning  doo  ouconis first, and t had happened.

    quot;Goldmund,quot; t  being able to tell you earlier. I s to you to see you in your prison in t statues, or at so many otimes. Let me tell you today  to me,   mean very muco you. You are used to love; it is not rare for you; so many . My life  of life. Our Abbot Daniel once told me t  I ; . I am not unjust tos to be just and patient  I e of  love is, it is because of you. I o love you, you alone among all men. You cannot imagine  means. It means a , a blossoming tree in t is to you alone t my   dried up, t a place o grace.quot;

    Goldmund smiled ly embarrassed. it, calm voice ; day and  you, tle Bless. I understood t you  because of me, and I . No it  you really do love me. But I  courting you. I kne you, too,  I never dared  you ell me some day, youre suc  and I t.quot;

    tood in tching.

    quot;Do you tantly of deat; asked Narcissus.

    quot;Yes, I t and of ual as you o to t easy for me to find my joys t I dont en been extremely unate enougo learn t sensuality can be given a soul. Of it art is born. But no in me. I no longer asy, and I   it noill running after me. And to create  is no longer my ues; t matter. t is time for me to die. I am ready, and Im curious about it.quot;

    quot;; asked Narcissus.

    quot;ell, it may be a bit stupid of me. But Im really curious about it. Not of t t very little, and if I may say so openly, I no longer believe in it. tree is dead forever; t come back to life, nor does a man after inue to ter  t doesnt last long eit dying only because it is still my belief or my dream t I am on to  as t of love, fulfilled love. I cannot give up t t, instead of deat o take me back to o nonbeing and innocence.quot;

    During one of  visits, after Goldmund  said anytalkative.

    quot;Faton t often be in great pain.  so calmly, Goldmund? It seems to me you ;

    quot;Do you mean peace  peace I  found. I dont  any peace  need to praise it, and tle  good at bearing pain, and altimes t dying o me, I  face it. I ill mucoo strong and too o die; to break eac no is different.quot;

    Speaking tired o spare himself.

    quot;No,quot; ;I  to tell you. Before to tell you. Itll make you lauged my  day and rode a just riding off into t Count urned to t ress Agnes , t does not seem important to you, and today it does not seem important to me eit at t time tself into me, and I t of not Agnes. S beautiful o see ed to be er a iful. I found unity to so o speak to  ted to o do oo old for ty enouged anyt, actually,  I rode on. I didnt  to come back to you so disappointed and ridiculous, and as I rode along, force and youtelligence ely abandoned me, because I stumbled into a gully o a stream and broke several ribs and lay ter. ts  real pain. As I fell I felt somet, and to , I ent . I lay ter and kne I  to die, but everytely different from t nigs prison. I  it; dying no longer seemed terrible to me. I felt t pains  to call it. I lay t and I  t  asy and love. And t it  o pluck out my . ood t, it no longer . And no enemies; taking my  out. S it. Sometimes sasy. Sometimes sender sounds. Sometimes s  s t me and dra of my c.quot;

    Again and again ;Do you remember?quot;  days. quot;I ely forgotten my motil you conjured  day, too, it  very mucearing at my intestines. e ill young tty young boys. But even to folloiful madonna; sasy. Sinct. No;

    quot;Dont speak so muc; said Narcissus. quot;ait until tomorro;

    ito Narcissuss eyes,   back from  looked at times so old and fragile, a little senile perhen again like pure kindness and wisdom.

    quot;My dear friend,quot; ;I cannot  until tomorro say fareo you no I must tell you everyten to me anot. I ed to tell you about my mot. For many years it  c dream to make a statue of to me t sacred of all my images; I ery. Only a s o t I mig atue; my life urned out: it is not my  s is  s, s, sying me; so dying and iful statue, t motill see it, and if I . But s  t; s  me to make  visible. Ss me to die. Im glad to die; s easy for me.quot;

    Deeply sened to o bend close to o be able to understand inctly; ot their meaning escaped him.

    And noo , as trying to s;But ime comes, Narcissus, since you  a mot love. it a mot die.quot;

    er t could not be understood. t t by , c words burned like fire in .